by Michele Fulton
Are you ashamed of the way you have acted in past relationships with loved ones? Do you tend to blame others for your own unhappiness and for the problems in those relationships? Are you always looking outside of yourself for the answers to why your relationships with others have failed or ended badly? Do you expect your significant other to provide you with everything you need to feel cared for, whole and loved?
Often, when we set conditions about what love should look like, it is based on some Hollywood or storybook scenario or how we perceive other relationships around us to appear. In actuality, we may have no idea what pure, divine, unconditional love looks or feels like because we have not yet learned to truly love ourselves. It sounds easy; “Love Yourself”, but if you are not sure what that means, there is a wonderful saying; “Be Yourself; Everyone Else is Taken”. It is true, you are the only you, each one of us is absolutely unique. No one was you before you, and no one will be you after you. This is the person that you need to love first and foremost. Until you learn to love yourself, others will have a difficult time loving you too.
Sure, there may be many things that you like about yourself, even love. What are they? Try making an honest list. How many of the things you admire about yourself are actually within your control? Are they physical or social attributes? Do you like your hair, your laugh, your sense of humor, your “stick-to-itiveness?” Are these the same qualities you look for in others, especially a life mate? Instead of wallowing in all the things you don’t like about yourself or wish were different, focus on the things you like and learn to love them. We all know what we need to work on; worrying less, being more confident, listening better, not gossiping, sticking to a healthy diet and exercise regimen, we all have the list in our heads.
Today, pick one and really try to work on it, see how it makes you feel when you accomplish it, give yourself credit when you do, a little self-love goes a long way. The goal is to be so content with yourself that you won’t need another person to fill that void and so when that amazing person does happen along; you will be just as amazing too!